Bollocks

I ended it. It's over. The switch in my brain said you can't continue going this way. To keep giving everything and still not getting anywhere closer, even though realistically, he was doing what's real. Arm's length. B/c in 3 months he's gone. So really what is this business? Except to just be casual and this is case #2 where I've deluded myself into thinking I can change the outcome even for a temporary 2 months. But I can't. And so I ended it. And so now I'm crying and bawling. B/c I care too fuckin' much. I'll be fine in 48 hrs and will bounce back w/ vigor.