under appreciated

so, in my head, i feel unappreciated, even though i've offered the same if not similar gestures, but was refused. i'm the sounding board to his ridiculous man-whore or potential man-whore stories. i am the person who understands the superficial side of him, also b/c anybody else may judge, and i certainly am the last person to judge anyone. i am the person who is always the first to step up and make sure they're taken care of. so... when i keep hearing about how the ex-gf this and that and how she surprised you with cake even though i asked you if you wanted any, sometimes, really, i can't help but feel a little under appreciated. i mean, when i have friends, i am loyal, they are my everything, but how much of what i am putting myself out there is b/c of friendship or b/c of yearning for something that will never happen?

i'm going to guess 60-40 and the 60 being the one that's emotionally breaking me.