i know that my insecurities, worries, and general freak outs are usually very petty and are entirely self-controlled. however it doesn't change the fact that certain days for a few hours i will feel utterly depressed and down in the mouth thinking I’m being rejected from every relationship out there… it’s my own insecurities really. It’s… can I be myself comfortable vs how do I get myself out there to meet new people.
Well I got a well deserved kick in the butt from my friend, same one I tend to agonize over, but he said scolded me and said I have nothing to worry about (true, I’m not unemployed, I’m not in my late 20’s worry about the forevers with my partner, and I live at home) and that I need to figure out what I want. Either be comfortable getting a lot done being solor or make a major move to meet new people.
and I did feel better, kind of put some realization into my life. That my life is in my hands, I have control of it. I generally have this feeling of self assurance every so often and I’m comfortable with myself and what I do for a few weeks at a time, but every so often I have a mini-meltdown. Can I blame it on being in my mid-20’s and so I’m trying to ‘figure myself out’… I could, maybe it has some part of it? But really I have no one to blame but myself. so… I have to remember that. Only I, can change who or what I am and to make myself happy. Rely on thyself.
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