which is it

i can't tell if i'm disgusted by how whipped he is, or if i'm secretly jealous of his public outpouring, by that i mean fb, of affection for her, and still stinging that i never meant that way to him... but seeing as how openly whipped he is, maybe i'm not so jealous and more disgusted by it? not to say i'm dissatisfied in my own relationship, in which case i guess you'd ask then why care about the ex? i don't care about him, but maybe...ya i'm still slightly smarting from the fb overtures of how much you are madly in love w/ this 20 yr old... is it a reflection upon me that i was a horrible gf? actually, it feels more like that was a life time ago and i barely remember the 'good times' and the fact that you can't be mature enough w/ me, your ex, b/c you worry what your 20 yr old current gf might think? tells me you still have a lot to grow in dealing w/ ppl and relationships... so... on one hand no, i so don't want you back and i see now that we were only just passerby's in each other's life for a brief moment in time, having fun, but ... on the other, i am still kind of smarting that i fell so hard for you and realized how you never treated me the way i should've been treated, as i see it happening w/ a girl you like/love/whatever.
i was just your whatever, otherwise known as a rebound. i wish i had never let myself get so attached to you, i can't even remember those feelings, all that's left is this slightly stinging of feeling... used and ... rejected. f... you...