Urgh I just wish random memories wouldn't float back to my mind. Like after the first month when he said he was confused, I should've just ended it. I wish the chemistry wasn't so good, at least on my end, so I could just be indifferent right now.
I figure hate does no good b/c that means I'm holding on to something. I just wish these damn memories of him would go away. This whole city reminds me of him, doesn't help that he lived 5 mins away from me and almost everything we did revolves around a good 15km of my regular daily life.
This isn't positive or helpful thinking, but I feel like I either prepped him for his next gf, he was barely tolerating acting like my bf, or he was already or having feelings for this other girl..or a combination of all 3. I don't feel as bad as I did in the beginning, but still a bit...insecure about it all. F him. Blahh
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