angry

i guess this was triggered from seeing his new profile pic in fb. it's all i can see b/c i de-friended him. it's a pic of him and his new gf, taking a photo together in front of his mirror. he is kissing the top of her head w/ what looks to be loving gesture while she takes a photo of them. i know i know i have to stop looking at it, but i can't help but feel cheated and angry all at the same time. he never even 'showed me off' when we were dating like that. never showed me the consideration or was proud of the fact that i was his gf, on fb. granted it's fb so who cares as long as he had treated me well, but... i feel angry.

i feel angry that i celebrated his birthday w/ him, that i cooked him a nice meal, that i spoiled him w/ his favourite things on his birthday. i know i didn't have to do that, but i wanted to. i don't know if any of it was appreciated. i don't know if our dating history was even appreciated.
i feel like he took advantage of the fact that things were comfortable and i was willing to be this doting gf and he didn't appreciate it, especially right up to the end. i'm angry that he started dating someone new so soon after he broke up w/ me, that he declared on fb that he was already in a relationship w/ someone else. i'm angry b/c i think he had feelings for this girl while dating me. i'm angry that i wasted my time w/ him. i'm angry that i've let him hurt me. i'm angry that this still affects me. i'm angry that he said let's be friends and then negated on that promise. i don't care if that's what one says but never means it. i'm just angry. i feel used and discarded. i think i might hate him, which would be a lot easier to handle than to still pine after someone who didn't appreciate me enough.

i'm angry.