no more

spent my saturday chasing him down via text and phone b/c he said we'd go to the driving range this wknd. though he also said it before i drunkenly declared that i wanted to have post break-up sex w/ him... um ya. anyway i have a feeling he was avoiding me today especially when he said ya ya i'll call you later after the ufc, we might go clubbing or whatever... well i never got that text, phone call etc. instead i stayed in saturday night hoping i'll get the word. fell asleep watching the office instead and now it's about 5am and i'm on fb. the other girl he met at the same time as me (but choose me) has been msging him on his fb wall. nothing bad, but i can't view that shit. i've deleted everything he's ever said to me on my fb wall and vice versa. deleted the photos off of fb. kept the more artsy ones on flickr. but i can't have that shit in my face reminding me of 'happy' memories only to have him break up w/ me 3 weeks later after. so i guess this is a good step in eradicating him from my life. ppl say i can't hang out w/ him it's no good. i believe them. so... ball's in his court if he really wants to hang out w/ him. i'm done pining after something that is not there. i deserve more than this. and i want to stop crying and feeling sad all the time. depression is a bitch.