"I thought more about what you said, for me, it's kind of hard to say cause I don't have the right romantic feelings for you, sure there's lust and all but it's def not enough for me, it actually made me feel like shit and not good about myself as I think it was trying to compensate for something in my life, it was like living a lie and ultimately that's why I ended it, the situation wasn't right for me. Great in the beginning, spontaneous and fun, something new I've never done... So ya we can start over and try this out properly, coffee dates etc, but I just don't want to lead you on thinking I have romantic feelings for you now.. "
My 6 page text to the sex. Last night he confessed he had genuine feelings for me that he feels bad for treating me poorly while we were 'f-ing' (not a euphamism) around, that he misses me, enjoys my company. Sure I have lust, but isn't lust a sin, anyway? So... I think I'm doing the right thing by being honest about how I actually feel about him and he can choose to pursue or stop. I'm... Overly cautious b/c I do not need to go back feeling the way I was.
Plus, I think being mentally strong about this will help w/ the other little issue of my heart really belonging to someone when it shouldn't. I have a plan to get over that as well. To suck it up and jus move on being best of friends. Platonic. And ozzie sex isn't going to cure anything I wish I was having. Ever.
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