charities

okay, i get it when people host charities and are doing raffle draws to raise money for it, but what i don't like is when people 'force' you into purchasing raffle ticket by coming right to your desk and asking you in front of other people so you're forced into purchasing otherwise you look like an inconsiderate and selfish jackass. and don't use the lure of prizes to justify why someone should by a raffle ticket b/c chances are i'm NOT going to win and instead of making me think i'm buying a ticket for a chance to win something convince me to DONATE money to a worthy cause...

zero self restraint

i had 3 gelato cones this week. sunday. tuesday. wednesday.

... i hear some people gain weight in their boobs and no where else. unfortunately i'm not one of them.

lambchop is now a porkchop.

Italian so not spanish

So after spending a weekend with my friend's cousin, I've concluded that italian is so NOT similar to spanish... Not even when you mix in french and english haha. She speaks 15% english and I spoke 0% spanish. Somehow though, we still were able to commuicate and understand each other. It's amazing how body lanuage and hand gestures go the extra mile!!

this is why i like spain

via Great Tennis Photos

hot hot hot

nothing like a good ol' london accent to make me swoon

too bad his character on GG is a bit douchey

At peace

All is right with that one long lingering don't let me go hug at the end

Rock bottom

Via SMS:

Me - "You going to the game tonight?"

Him - "Going to spend time with my NAME"

I spent 5 minutes just staring at his reply, anally focused the 'my.' Not once since I've known him he's referred to her as 'his,' 'my' so wtf the corner of my eyes get teary and I feel suicidal. But then ok, they haven't seen each other in a couple of weeks, makes sense. I'm not bothered by the time spent together, or am I, as much as I am by the 'my' by the personal, possessive pronoun that makes me feel as though the life is sucked out of me and all I can do is curl up and cry.

Ok, so I'm melodramatic, but I'm in the depths of the lows of lows. I hope to get back to my highs of highs soon.

current mood

• not so sassy
• want to curl up in bed with the covers over my head and my snuffle-bears in my arm
• slightly pouty
• tragic
• tormented

something is seriously wrong...

more common than you think

from FML pg 6.

"Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML"

rated not suitable for you

from FML pg 6.

"Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

LOL. and i never type LOL.

flora by gucci

original found here

simply stunning. enough for me to go out and try out the scent. gta love brilliant advertising.

Jealous vibe

Or envy, whatever works.

..That's right, she gets to be excited for you to come home, she gets to pick you up from the airport, she gets to hug and kiss you... And I don't. I never will. I have to be platonic.

I guess I just envy that she is the one who gets to do all that when I can't. Urgh how will I ever get thru this...

UPDATE: urgh, to have you f'in count down the hrs before you go pick up your man, makes me green with envy and blue with sadness.... i'm ... aqua. say NO to FB stalking.

The response

Just in! His response.

"That's fine.....I think that's a great idea actually. I don't want to force you into anything. I don't think you really got to know 'me', and I think that's the real problem. I feel like we are great around each other and have awesome chemistry....we just got off on the wrong foot...."

Mhhh I still am feeling trepidations, but I think it will be good to test myself on being a slow mover and not an impulse buyer... Or whatever that means, I think you get it... ;)

Being cautiously honest

"I thought more about what you said, for me, it's kind of hard to say cause I don't have the right romantic feelings for you, sure there's lust and all but it's def not enough for me, it actually made me feel like shit and not good about myself as I think it was trying to compensate for something in my life, it was like living a lie and ultimately that's why I ended it, the situation wasn't right for me. Great in the beginning, spontaneous and fun, something new I've never done... So ya we can start over and try this out properly, coffee dates etc, but I just don't want to lead you on thinking I have romantic feelings for you now.. "

My 6 page text to the sex. Last night he confessed he had genuine feelings for me that he feels bad for treating me poorly while we were 'f-ing' (not a euphamism) around, that he misses me, enjoys my company. Sure I have lust, but isn't lust a sin, anyway? So... I think I'm doing the right thing by being honest about how I actually feel about him and he can choose to pursue or stop. I'm... Overly cautious b/c I do not need to go back feeling the way I was.

Plus, I think being mentally strong about this will help w/ the other little issue of my heart really belonging to someone when it shouldn't. I have a plan to get over that as well. To suck it up and jus move on being best of friends. Platonic. And ozzie sex isn't going to cure anything I wish I was having. Ever.

Judging, sooo judging

Guy's outfit in front of me radiates I'm creepy. From bottom to up. Runners, khakis, gray zipper hoodie unzipped, light blue button shirt, blue pattern tie, silver disc necklace and shades. Blond hair.

Doesn't sound bad, but maybe b/c it's the way it's all put together in a loose haphazardous way that makes me think mhhh not so sure...

Or maybe it's the blond hair. Don't trust the blondies...or the brown curly types...

FML

FML

at least i'm not the only buggar out there feeling like a piece of Fffff

Princess pink

I'm excited about my new nail polish color. It's called princess pink by rimmel london. I hope it makes me feel like a princess...in london. I wish marketing really worked and translates to real life.

Leaving on a jet plane

I wish I was on one of those little planes taking off for somewhere exotic, fun, and distracting... Instead I'm on a bus that's taking me home. Could be worse, could be taking me to work.

if life were like

the empire penguins. ya man, they find their mate EVERY winter like clockwork. they don't play games, they just find their mate and get on with it. i like their style. where's my mate?!

how i currently feel about macluvin'

(macluvin' = my new black 13" macbook. soooOo sexy. until i get a million fingerprints all over it :( sadface.)

James says:
but really, its like you just started dating someone who you think is hot
James says:
and the more you are with them the more you like their other features

that's... exactly how i feel. macluvin' is such a sexy beast, but i have no idea how to use it quite yet... i hope to get some luvin' from it this weekend!

revealing

the crazy's back. i dunno why, but i keep comparing myself to 'her' your 'her.' maybe comparing's not a good word, but i just get the feeling of wishing sometimes i wish i was her, and only b/c she gets to be by your side, whether by default or b/c it was meant to be. i know. i really shouldn't compare myself to ANYONE. i am my own person, i have my own unique qualities and things about me that make me 'special' and 'unique' and blha blah fluff crap and ppl can take me as i am or leave it. but... again, maybe it's b/c you two are a unit, whether it's in title and/or emotional, either way thru the ups and downs she gets to have you, metaphorically and literally. and... ya i won't lie, i'm envious, b/c often times i wish i could be that person instead. urgh i'm thinking about deleting this before even sending it to you b/c this is sooo revealing and potentially can like... make you not want to be friends with me, but for whatever reason, whether it's b/c you're thousands of miles away, it seems easier to say this now than in person and to your face when i feel awkward, hot and bothered, distracted. you distract me. distract me in a good way. don't say sorry, you haven't made my life tougher as you said in the previous mail. if anything sometimes i wonder if i make your life more difficult, but i can't not hang out with you, can't stop being friends. we have too much fun together and you understand the helen in her mid-20's more than any of my closest and long-standing gfs. you've been through the most life-upheval rollarcoaster ride of my life for the past year that i don't think anyone will ever understand how much you truely mean to me.

this is a msg that i was going to hit send... but ... i didn't. i couldn't. it's so... speaks more in words than what i've ever been able to say, despite the actions which may have already revealed their true nature... i just couldn't hit send. i don't want to change the dynamic of the friendship just so i could get a reaction out of him.

love this song by elbow

elbow - George Lassoes The Moon

coco avant chanel

i don't know what they're saying, but it's audrey tautou and a film about coco chanel before she was THE COCO CHANEL. how beautiful is this? i can only hope for sub-titles.

Bus thoughts

I really want to tell the girl in front of me that she has a head full of split ends. And then I want to tell the guy who's talking to the girl to shut the hell up b/c it's morning bus where ppl go to their drone kobs therefore the only peace they have from waking up to start of day is the peace on the bus. And I want to tell the guy that there are tons of ppl who work and go to school, it IS doable and it's called paying for tuition b/c mummy and daddy don't pay for it. No exclamation marl b/c that's how tired or lazy I am to find it on my berry.

away we go

contradictions of my values

HAH amazing. i heart design. i do believe design will enhance your life, GOOD design will enhance, better your everyday average monotone life. in fact i think design should make your life so much better that you won't even remember the mediocracy of your previous existence.

BUT, i agree, get off your ass and do something tangible that will really save the world. too many pretentious yuppies out there touting crap who have no concept of what's going on in the real world.

i myself included? mhhh.. no... but there must be a fine line b/w the art and brilliance of design and the real task of saving the world.

vulgar

"The women, they looked very vulgar," says Valentino

YES that's what the latest fashions are like. the 80's are vulgar! and it's back with a vengeance!

also, i'd really like to watch this last emperor documentary of mr valentino.

topshop

dear topshop,

we're your cousin, PRACTICALLY sisters, 1st blood! come ONnnnn, the states gets their first topshop before canada does?!

please grace us with your presence SOOon b/c i can't handle the benign crap that's in the stores right now... ooOOOo i get it i get it the 80's are back in with a 'modern' flair, but i honestly cannot make myself wear boho-flippy-beaded sandels with flowery, no structure outfits. it's just crap! so disappointed with many of the offerings that are out right now. it's like picking through a land of garbage for something beautiful. i'm NOT digging the new silky jumpsuits. i'm 5'2, do you know what a loosey jumpsuit would do to my body?! can we say troll?!

therefore, dear topshop, you must come to canada and grace us with your european style before i end up a fashion victim of what's 'popular.'

forever yours,
eurogirl at heart