what's worse?

blacking out with friends or blacking out with coworkers?

as proven last night blacking out with coworkers is definitely dangerous, scary, and i can't think of another adjective, but you get what i mean. especially coworkers who can out drink any other group of friends i've ever drank with therefore putting myself in a bad situation.

running out of a forest clearing yelling and screaming someone please help me, help me, and feeling the sheer helpless panic of holy god where the fuck am i, is not something i'd like to remember as a good time.

having my memory blackout as much as it did and feeling more scared and panicky after only having 5 beers in 5 hrs makes me wonder if beer was all that i was drinking or if someone spiked my drink.

one thing to watch out for: when someone, with potential shady, douchebag quality, asks if you want to go the bathroom and you don't remember if you were even lead to the bathroom or what the hell even happened, that someone should be avoided at all future work socials.

two things to be thankful for: a trustworthy coworker who will make sure i get home okay, and the most dependable & awesome guy who will come rescue me no matter what or where.

lessons learned: even at a softball game never to redrink my drink after i set it down, always drink water with alcohol, don't go off with shady characters who only have one perverted thing in mind, and i rock at softball.

freaky

so there's another helen lam with the exact same birth date as me, though a year younger, on facebook, wanting to add me as her friend. she's friends with someone already on my list. this is completely freaky/coincidence and/or this girl changed her birth date to be the same as mine just so she can take over my life (i'm kidding... not really)... and she wants to add me to her friends list?! wtf... get away from me scary girl!

when reality hits you in the face

when the gf shows up after all this time of ignoring the fact that she can't possibly exist.

RIP

Sydney Pollack

observations from a canadian

after my recent little jaunt into good ol' U S of A, i've observed the following:

1) pinkberry or just frozen yogart itself has every right to be glorified
2) in&out still kicks ass. animal style cheeseburger didn't wow me as much as the animal fries.
3) there are a LOT of fat, and not just haha fat, but omg how are you not having a heart attack right now fat, americans walking around... i wonder if it has to do with their diet consisting of point 1 & 2
4) disneyland is still the happiest place on earth
5) mickey needs to come out of his high and mighty enclosed protected house and join the rest of his cast mates under the hot sun and attacking children
6) my bum seems to be at the perfect height to be molsted, for all those brats at the park as they run around on a sun-fill, sugar high
7) i heart churros

disorder

what's wrong with me that i can't just go to bed and sleep?!

EVERY single morning i always wake up regretting how late i've slept the night before and vow to sleep before midnight the next day...

io ho retardo

trouble of another sort

i shall be visiting H&M tomorrow... wish me luck i do not get lost in debt

trouble

dear shirls,

boys ARE nothing but trouble! trouble like cops! i agree with you now... the ugly betty season finale also confirmed this fact!

love, helen.

did you miss me?

it's been awhile since i last posted, been away in california visiting my sister, mickey mouse, the outlet mall, and pinkberry.

will post details later, just waited to say hi...

"HI!"

i'm already feeling pinkberry and in&out deprived...

ya sam gledna

(phonetic spelling (but incorrect spelling) of 'i am hungry' in serbian)

YEA jelena jankovic wins roma!




roland garros, here we come!

je suis triste

au revoir justine, you have been greatly admired and have changed the face of women's tennis forever.

date with mickey

I'll see YOU on Saturday!

druggie

my latest med, new cough syrup has a fat, giant 'addiction' sticker on it. apparently this drug has the greatest potential to make me addicted to it and if i stop using it after being addicted, i'll go through a withdrawal...

gta LOVE western medicine...

nickname summary

so far i've been called...

lammer
lammy
baby girl lamb
goat
hlam
mutton
rack of lamb
jelena

and today.... drumroll....

lamb chops.

i have a feeling the lamb chops is staying...

the debauchery of helen lam

last night we had a 'team building event' that really just consisted of a fancy dinner with a LOT of alcohol... apparently i had passed initiation as i didn't pass out in the lounge.

last night was an educational night. i've learned:

1) i can get my drink on with my team without losing face
2) i can 'keep up' with my team
3) when proposition to go to the bathroom for potential sexy time... you go...
4) i can do a tequila shot in 2 tries, yay i went from 4 to 2!
5) drink equal amounts of water while drinking alcohol
6) triple fisting it is so much more fun than double
7) to act not as hung over, the next day, as i really feel while everybody else looks so much more worse for wear earns bonus points and respect
8) i physically cannot do shots as i have an unusually, maybe alarmingly, small airway <-- that I found out the next morning at the doctor's office, but it made me happy to justify my incapability of throwing back one
9) new nicknames: mutton, rack of lamb
10) a new pick up line, "i want me a rack of lamb!"

go team!

asian flashbacks

dear shirley,

thank you for your asian singer postings, of late. it has reminded me of my inner honger!

i totally forgot about utada hikaru!! nice gem, nice gem!!

ciao, helen

gutttteeddd

oh ouch, cute, young tennis assistant has a gffffffff. oh well, apparently he has 3, and the tennis flings don't count towards it. SCORE! or should i say WINNER!

btw it's been awhile since my last posting of my lovah!

serb me out

i'm slowly immersing myself more into my alter-ego of jelena jankovic, (i hope the real jelena jankovic doesn't read this blog and think i am completely physco... though she wouldn't be too far off the mark), as i learn more serbian at each class.

actually, it reminds me of a cross b/w italian and russian. so, i guess, really that means a cross b/w a latin dialect and the 'other' kind... haha

koopa troopa

there's a guy in my 730 class who looks like koopa troopa from mario kart. except instead of spitting wild green shells at me, he's serving wickedly fast, but out of control tennis balls that go every which way.

watch out, lest be hit by a fuzzy green ball.

gossip girl

WTF?!?!

i'm caught up to the latest episode.

INSANE in the membrane...

mac ad

not posting this for the awesomeness of mac, but for the awesomeness of the CHAIRS they're all sitting in!!

oh starck for kartell chair, how i lust for thee!

je suis un euro-wannabe

i'd like to be just as euro chic, please.

FABULOUS spring option.

check out the pocket in her scarf!!!

(from the sartorialist)

s.m.r.t.

yay, i actually got to use my brain at work! instead of being a retardo monkey working without thought, i actually got to THINK and handle a bunch of different projects!

all hail new job role! maybe i'll actually be able to salvage any dead brain cells... or maybe not...

(suppose to be a sarcastic thumbs up, but i have no pic of me thumbs up, so please use this peace sign in place for it... not quite the same effect, eh)

amy winehouse

i think she would actually SCARE the bums of east vancouver.

more bananas

to cap off my banana flavored amoxillicin post, does anybody remember bananas in pajamas?!

oh, grade 7... how i so do not long for thee...

a. idol

i don't understand the hype for this david archuletta guy, have you SEEN his before singing video? the kid's 12 years old! (17) well he sure looks like it.

then he sang...then doves flew over the rainbow and the heavens opened up... i understand his greatness now...

i'm just opposed to his public image and obvious gawky teen image. drop a pair of balls, would ya?!

it's better...

hi shirls,

it's better. you brought some sexy, back into my life. thank you.

bananas

you know what else is cool like bums being pricked with needles?!

BANANA FLAVORED AMOXICILLIN!!

oOOOo i know, folks! they said it couldn't be done, but i'm DRINKING IT, 2 wonderful teaspoons, 3x a day, for 5 days!

YAY (<--sarcasm)

my bum feels like a pin coushion

yours would too if it got injected 4 times with penencillin!!

my throat closed up, i couldn't swollow, couldn't talk, so the doctor had to give me injections of penencillin so antibiotics would have a chance of working... AND he made me go get my bloodwork done...

i'm PETRIFIED of needles!

have you ever had penencillin? it's like... like this really, really strong feeling... i felt so high when I was at the clinic to get my blood taken, this was just after the doc's office and the penencillin injections, that when i was sitting there waiting, my armed stretched out, the nurse searching for a vein (btw TOTALLY freaky... hi, i'm here to search for your vein to suck some blood out!), totally scared out of my mind, i almost passed out. seriously. i saw stars and was fading in and out.

okay... so i have to say it didn't hurt THAT bad, but still, that's a lot of needles in one day. i don't think i'm cured of my fear of needles, but at least the ones in the butt don't hurt as much as the ones in the arm...

it was a black friday.

and yay i get to go back to the doc's office in 4o mins for another round of injections!

my bum hurts.