be a man

why do guys have to msg back asking why i didn't reply to their msgs? damn online dating services where guys can see if their sent msgs have been read+deleted. and using the words "awww you don't wanna talk to me" is NOT a desirable trait. AND i'm going off of the few images you've posted on your profile and i am so NOT attracted. i don't care if that's shallow. online dating IS shallow. all about judgement based on first looks and what's written. if you can't handle it, get out of the game, pal.

ju-pah

chinese for porkchop. i can hear my mum talking about dinner w/ my sister and they're talking about ju-pah and how to cook it. it, ju-pah, reminds me of you... hah awesomesauce.

it's been awhile

since i last posted. sorry, been busy with festivities at work and home. now i'm in california enjoying semi-warm weather. just got back from last vegas yesterday. it's quite... a playground, but not like disneyland. i'm quite casino out and i didn't even gamble!
anyway, just wanted to say i'm alive, b/c i realized the last post i wrote i said i was drunk and on skytrain... hah i'm such a dumbass, i had a taxi voucher that night, but for whatever reason, gettingon the skytrain seemed to make sense at the time... sigh.

Drunk

I'm drunk dinno how I got on skytrain. I guess i walked

50 mins of life gone

had the most random conversation with the most uniquely opposite person from me. it was some guy from pof, i thought he was hot from his posted images and he msged me saying he likes my spunk and we had randomly texted each other stupid stuff, so tonight he finally calls me. and after more conversations w/ this guy, who btw, wants to own an organic blueberry farm w/ horses as his end goal in life, believes in the higher being of spirituality. that he left the city to find more spirituality in himself and others. believes with every bad there is a good. believes are completely connected w/ the earth. is part of some start up bank that was created out of gold. just... he is a person that i cannot understand and i am someone he THINKS he understands as i'm a total city girl, and he left the city b/c he felt 'something weird was going on, something's changing and i just had to get out' and i don't mean something weird as in we got a new bylaw, but something weird like as in 'the air, the water' ... so... sorry man, i'm not dissing your beliefs, but they are so serious and extreme that i simply cannot identify or provide any empathy with your cause. that may make me sound superficial and shallow b/c i APPEAR to not care about anything that is real, but i think i'm just not deep enough for you.

so i ended the call and was like okay well i don't think we have anything else to talk about b/c we don't agree on anything... so i just said good bye haha and i did make sure he said bye as well before hanging up.
THEN i got a text from him saying it didn't have to end like that. urgh it had to b/c his voice was also creeping me out... he has HOT photos posted on his profile and yet his higher pitched voice reminds me of some 40 yr old perv who made up a random profile to meet girls.... couldn't get that image out of my head and probably ruined me to have an open mind on anything. like the hobbit thing, once i thought hobbit, couldn't fixate on anything else. hobbit.

note to self

stop fb stalking on the new gf of "HIM" . and no not yukon guy, and no yukon guy still hasn't msged me back EVEN THOUGH i gave him a 'hey i'm around' indicator by commenting on a recent uploaded photo.... yes my communication skills have been resorted to fb...fml. i need a real relationship and must stop fantasizing and comparing to ppl don't that matter....

"we demand authenticity!" quote from alexxi.

waste of time

i just spent the last 45 mins creating a lavalife profile. and then i just deleted it. why? i think i've been spoiled by the likes of plenty of fish where it's so horribly designed, that it actually works decently. less clutter, except for ads. OR maybe b/c taste in user experience has gone so down far into the drain i can't recognize that comic sans is a horrible font and should die. no, that's a lie, i still believe that. but anyway, i've realized that lavalife just didn't give me the 'freedom' to type whatever i was 'feeling' about the type of person i am. sure sure i had a description page, but it gave pre-determined drop down options of 'first dates' 'interesrts' 'hobbies' etc. so really, b/c there were so many pre-determined 'normal' hobbies, my profile was kind of lacking. i mean come on, i don't participate in hockey and i don't really watch it, but i'm willing to do both if a guy wanted to play or watch! hey now, just keeping my options open, not trying to change myself. i'm flexible. i like trying new things. maybe i should advertise this blog and see what fishies i get.
ow, my knuckles on my hands actually hurt. i think it's a sign that i should go read a romance novel and try go to go to sleep, seeing as how i was bitching about how little sleep i've been getting...for the past year. yes i know no excuse. boohoo. k... night

Breakup

I think I'm watching a couple break up on a metro station, on the platform. Signs? Guy has red, sad eyes, could be tears, and girl's holding both his hands and speaking softly. Why a metro platform? Or maybe they're praying the train gets there faster

hobbit productivity

I had a very productive day at work yesterday and by productive I mean I didn't really do any work, but I did muster up the courage to tell the hobbit that I didn't want to see him anymore. Thanks to Justin, that is, as he was greatly entertained by my online dating antics.
Hobbit is "5'8" and ok looking. Facial hair and all... But I think the 5'8 was a lie and really he's 5'6 or maybe b/c I was so not attracted to him that I didn't feel the 5'8 was a justified height. Ergo, I kept thinking hobbit every time I looked at him... Can you imagine sex w/ a hobbit?! Ya...so needless to say that ended quick...

want some. now.

won't lie. miss the yukon man sexy times. no, he's not from the yukon, but he's moving there. miss feeling like a sexy woman with sexy man.

whip out the haterade

It's funny how emotions work. I woke up to a can of haterade this morning. Like a can so big it'd break friendships. And now, now I'm back to regular and emotions have tapered off. It's funny how talking to friends thru out the day can make it all better. And not just those superficial facebook only friends, but ppl who care about you.
I wonder what I'll wake up to tmr. Or who will piss me off first... I'm really not an angry bitter girl, I just demand authenticity from people. No more bullshit efforts. Hah we'll see how long this strong resolve lasts...

You scary

Holy shit, the couple sitting a seat over from me, the guy of the couple scared me w/ his youthful babyface, shaved head and braces... Scared in a you scared me w/ a I'm so not attracted to you way. I know shallow, but it seriously gave me a start... And I'm also in the my post 2nd date mood and it didn't go well. I mean it was pleasant, but I felt no sexual chemistry on my end which kind if just killed it for me. Shit. Now I have to avoid or tell the guy. The worst part? I wish I was at home instead of out w/ him tonight. Oh snap.

1901

Phoenix - 1901 - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

by phoenix. they've been around for awhile, but this is the first time i've heard of them. i'm catching up to those hipsters!!

Can't sleep

Chest feels like someone's sitting on my sternum. I blame indigestion or the rod has finally exploded and cystic fluid is coursing thru and causing heartache. But seeing as how my breathing is fine, ergo my lungs are clear, I blame indigestion. And getting old. :(

are you insane?

"more women choose do-it-yourself births"

that's why women are crazy