sort it out!

you lost to a freakin' qualifier?!
ur seeded no 3!! sort . it. out man...

it's okay, i still love you. hearts a-flutter... !!

it's a date!

you better be ready for me, mickey!!! SEE YOU SOON!

"what is the meaning of life?"

"to be happy, b/c what's the point of life if you're not happy" a great quote from my pilot.

why can't i just be content with myself?

do not compare thyself

with others.

i've been told i'm a grass is greener on the otherside kind of person, but really i guess what i've been doing lately is comparing myself to others and for what reason?

i don't know.

i think i have to start looking at what's in my life to be happy about and not be so restless or despondent that time has not fast forward to my fabulous and accomplished 30's quite yet... 30 is a target feeling sense of accomplish goal age... i don't know quite what i'll do if i fail.

digg it

ESC
i like the music.

dear hot guy,

when will you come? and when you do, please bring my self-confidence and brush away my insecurities. grazie mille!

ciao

i love u

yup, upgraded from heart to love. je suis obsessed? perhaps...


gawd, if only i could serve like that.

you were a mistake

that i'd like to black out.

what part of no replies to any type of communication do you not understand? facebook, text, email... i do not reply, so why do you persist?

wasn't I a mistake for U?

i feel a little like this

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
Im just a poor boy,i need no sympathy-
Because Im easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, To me...

bohemian rhapsody, queen.

... perhaps not quite the 'boy' part, but the yearning in the lyrics i sympathize with.

& i heart u too

Evan Lysacek. no 1 US figure skating men's champion. no 2, but a close no 2 my heart throb.


skating to tosca in his long program. i love his footwork sequence.

i heart u

Nole (Novak) Djokovic. no 3 seed tennis player. no 1 my heartthrob.


besides the hot bod, cute face, he has an awesome personality
for tennis fans, please see impressions video!
see if you recognize the players he imitates!

superficial

dear blog,

is it so superficial to want to find every piece of photographic evidence of the wonder that was last saturday night? i need evidence of the inner rock star/bar star/slight-ho-but sexy+cute me.

i don't think so! i never get to go out so i want to ride the coat tails of a gloriously scandalous night!

ps: i found a picture of dirty dancing boy. he's short. that's okay, i'm short too so it worked in our favor for some sexy dance time.

love, wishing-she-was-still-out-having-an-inhibited-time-baby-girl-lamb.

saturday

night was the best night ever in a really, really, REALLY long time!

originally, it was going to be 3 girls, including myself, where 2 of us had to battle it out with rock, paper, scissors to decide who would drive ( i lost, i was devestated), and then to be completely and utterly surprised by the best 2 guy friends around, who convinced themselves to come out with us, even after saying no no they were too tired. so thank YOUUUUuuu so much for convincing yourselves to come out, driving us, making sure we got home okay, and just having a wicked great time with us!

i haven't danced that dirty in ages and it felt AWESOME! Pris, you are the best wing woman ever! must give props to mr jack daniels and coke.

my knees and thighs feel sore and thoroughly used... in the best way ever... dirty dancing with strangers and friends!

it was something to this effect...

who's radiohead?

me - so if not in may, i'm thinking i'll come visit you in august b/c i think radiohead will be playing in LA before i leave for europe... radiohead is like my beatles! i gta see them in concert somewhere if i can't see them at home

sister - i'm not sure who radiohead is

10 second pause

me - WHAT?!

sister - well maybe i might know some songs??

--____--

maxim

i've graduated from GQ to Maxim, or have i failed....? nonetheless the maxim was free and who isn't curious about a little booty?!

GQ

on the bus coming home from work, the guy sitting next to me was reading a GQ magazine (the same one i was secretly reading from his left in my earlier post), and lo and behold as he was flipping through pages, i saw this image in the mag which i immediately recognized from the sartorialist's blog (http://www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com/) .

what a great conversation starter!



me - "hey did you know that's from the sartorialist's webpage! it's the best site ever!"
guy with scruffy beard, but well dressed enough and clearly into fashion (hello, GQ!!) - "really?! what's the sartorialist?"
and on and on we have a conversation mainly me explaining about the blog and i find out he works downtown in some ad agency and and other 'how-do-you-do' ramblings...

except that didn't REALLY happened, it just happened in my head, and for 2 minutes i was seriously debating whether or not i should say something.

then i remembered i was trying to tone the crazy down. so... instead, i closed my eyes and fell asleep.

too much time

on my hands AND too much time for my mind to putter on the bus.
so many wonderful blog-like things came to mind while being on the bus. take for example. hey you! you look like a man but disguised as a woman! oh wait haha you ARE a man-she!! SERIOUSLY... like... 6'3, BUTCH, MAN features, perhaps even an adams apple... but disguised as a woman! i have nothing wrong with transvestites (sp??), but at least put some decent effort to into it!! come ONN!!!

kim who?!

who the F is kim kardashian?!
http://thesuperficial.com/2008/03/kim_kardashian_got_cheated_on.php
and why do we care about her and why does she have a tv show about her life?!

"Kardashian was little known outside gossip circles until the launch of her pornographic home video..."
source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Kardashian

okay, let me get this straight, so if IIIIIII make a home video does that mean i'll be famous too?! Maybeeeee if my ass looked like this: http://thesuperficial.com/2008/03/kate_hudson_went_to_miami_for.php !!!
okay okay i am obsessing with the perfect bottom... as soon as i have some validation this issue will be dropped.
note - her bikini is SUPER cute! props to kate.

3 things

to tone down the crazy that is helen.

1) take myself less seriously/don't be so gullible/be more sarcastic (yes, that's all 1 thing as really it means i need to chill)

2) read "he's just not that into you" (remember...trying to down the crazy down...)

3) read the latest GQ mag to get better insight of the 'man of today' ... and b/c the guy sitting next to me on the bus had it and it looked really interesting, plus the pretty boy pics were enticing

i should only be so lucky

to have 2 such talented men fight over me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asF5atQaFXQ

one day... one day!!!

um... i still wish my bum looked like this

http://thesuperficial.com/2008/03/kate_hudson_went_to_miami_for.php?bfm_index=1

i'm not being superficial, i'm stating a wish. i miss the days of my tight firm bum.

rely only on thyself

no matter how well-meaning your friends are, no matter how much they love and care about you, if they have a bf, a busy work life, and/or a busy social life that does not include you, you will find yourself lonely and hard to find someone to even just talk to b/c they're "busy"

i don't know about you, but when i don't see my friends for after a few weeks i get pretty lonesome and sad! i miss my friends! i don't know if they actually miss me b/c lately it seems the effort has been all from me with no positive results.

i'm living a single girl's life in a world full of couples. after a month of the lonely, single girl life (definitely not a shout out the youtube 'lonely girl' star), i've realized i have nobody to rely on but myself, which is probably why i started this blog in the first place... though i am careful about really naming names and being specific as i'll never really know who's reading this...

Sigh, i just find nobody is reeaaaally around and available for me when i need them. i don't beg to talk to my friends or tell them oh i need to talk to you now! but you would think the general inquiry into lunch, dinner, coffee would imply girl talk and that i need a familiar/friendly ear!

i'm sure you're all saying, well then get a hobby, find some extracurricular activities! i DO!!! television keeps me entertained enough, i have tennis, swimming, yoga, work!!... but none of those things are the same comfort as having the attention of a gf.

thus, for the time being, i've come to realize i can no longer rely on anybody, but myself.

... you might see me in a movie theatre by myself... let's chalk up to newfound experimental independence

i wish my ass looked like this

http://thesuperficial.com/2008/03/kate_hudson_went_to_miami_for.php?bfm_index=5

how dare you

ask why i take the closing shift if i am always rushing to get out on time.

i'm sorry, but being at work since 730am isn't already enough, i like to be efficient and not dwaddle while working. i don't sit/stand and talk being idle taking all the freakin' time in the world to close. excuse me for being fast and actually knowing what the hell i am doing, which makes me go pretty darn speedy. if i forgot to lock something up, not the end of the world! besides, it takes two to tango so where the heck was your diligence!?

how dare you ask why i rush as if you do not have any conceivable idea of why ANYBODY would want to finish their shift as quickly as possible.

do not dare to judge me!

my friday night consists of

as i am still sick, i've been ordered to stay home by my peers, family, and friends.

therefore, my friday night consisted of:
painting my toe nails
drinking 2 delicious glasses of dr looson white wine ... i figured if i was already sick and for so long, what's 2 glasses of wine going to do to me now
renting 3 rom-coms: 2 days in paris, the jane austen club, and no reservations
watching the finale of project runway 4
experiment with liquid eye liner which i don't think i am ever going to use as i found it to be the most difficult make up tool i've ever used and so messy!
wash my hair
read a romance novel

so really it wasn't a different friday night than if i was healthy... humph... except now i've decided to blog about it... oh dear...

"is it green or yellow?"

i heart my sister.
she phones to make sure i am doing okay and asks if my dribbling nose dribbles are coming out in colors green or yellow.
if no = good
i've come to realize, cold medicine does not cure, it only relieves the suffering!
sniff... i just want to feel better!

up the butt

bosom buddy: fingers up the butt
me: for reals?!
bosom buddy: it's what they have to do
me: i hope the doctor has warm fingers
bosom buddy: this is a ridiculous conversation, why are we even talking about this?!
me: i wonder if they'll use lubrication, that would make it hurt less

ps: a 'conversation' of sorts before 10am today and thankfully it's not about me and my bum

i smell like a tennis ball

but a super satisfied tennis ball.

please refer to hello kitty below for satisfaction guarantee.

"SUCK IT UP, PRINCESS!"

i heart my co-worker, kenny, who gives me the right tough love to keep me on track.

total loser

i have hit total loser-ville. will always double check my sms before being sent. i can only rise from the bottom now, right?!

i. am. bored.

ps:

despite my happiness for my friend, it's marred by being slight peeved i found out on facebook first... that's a small thing, really should not mention it, but your my blog, if i don't tell you who do i tell without sounding like a total bitch?! i'm glad you understand, blog. wow i'm a total geek/loser, take your pick, i accept either title.

happy days and self-deprecating

happy days, all around to my friend Joanna, who's going to Beijing to rock the city during the Olympics. I'm SOOOOO happy for her, she deserves it and has worked so hard in life to get this wonderful accomplishment/reward/best-kick-start-to-life ever. i knew she would get this opportunity even when she was doubting herself. how could she even think she wouldn't get it when her work experience matches the criteria and she's so smart and brilliant?! even if she didn't get it, i would've been baffled and speechless unable to console as i would've thought the committee made the wrong decision. nonetheless, she IS going and this will be one of the best things that have happened to her!!

okay, now on to the selfish part of this. despite my happiness i am super sad and envious that she will be gone. she's my go-to girl for all matters of the heart and life. she's my life advisor. does that mean i am going to be hopeless while she is gone? probaby. crap, i hope i don't end up in a hole b/c my life-line is gone. that was the sadness. the envy? i think anybody would be envy of their friend if they had a life time opportunity to be in a huge city during the olympics, working, and getting to meet all the athletes.

self-pity: when does my kick start in life happen?
i've been talking about wanting to move to london or another big city to work for the longest time, as part of my life plan. londonseemed easier as everybody spoke english. people say well just pick up and go! but... but.. HOW?! that seems so reckless, crazy, and unplanned! can't someone just send me there b/c they think i am fabulous and needed and with the proper documents? i don't want to hear the crap about oh just apply for a work visa and go. yea okay, i'm not like that, i need to know i have a job and shelter on the other end before i can just pick up and leave. sigh.

the envy is back and is yearning to be have something fabulous to look forward to. euro trip is fabulous, i am looking forward to it, but 6 weeks in a city and to be paid for it is also freakin' awesome.
beggers can't be choosers? i know... must look at life more positively!

the lonliness is starting to creep in. i'm hoping to keep it at bay for a little while longer...

i wish i could say i was writing this heartfelt note on my mac at a coffee shop looking mysterious and interesting, but instead i am writing this at home on a pc, in my pjs, and wiht my face super close to the screen b/c i'm not waering glasses. i think sexy back needs to be brought soon...