richmond 1. vancouver 0

"why do you live in richmond, what's so great about richmond?"

well how about the fact that it's sunny and nice out in richmond when it pours like shit running out of an ass in vancouver!! oh i'm sorry, posh and cool downtown looking gloomy?! well too bad you're not in the 'burbs of richmond where i can walk outside without melting into the puddles!

take that!

richmond 1. vancouver 0

silent hater

surprise, surprise, the 2 ppl at tennis class whom i've been totally, silently, hating on, actually asked for my contact to play post classes!

why had i been secretly hating on them? well it's really more the guy.
a) can't pick up enough tennis balls to save his life
b) doesn't understand how to use his racquet as a tool
c) a big old pansy and can't seem to pick up more than 2 balls at one time or more than 5 on a racquet
d) just cause i'm a hater

however, i guess my silently hating never showed it's true colors in class. i guess it pays not to shoot my mouth off or be a complete bitch at times. seems there are some perks to not being confrontational.

it's coming, it's coming!!

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY JUBILATION!!!!!!!!!!

this is why i'm cool

i'm staying home on a saturday night so i can bunker down in my bed and watch step up 2. i've been feverishly waiting for this movie to come out on dvd so i can imagine myself as one of the hot young dancers from street, rising to the occasion to kick some posh, upper-class, white girl's bum.

hey now, where's the asian minority in this poster?!

shut it down hells kitchen style

4:04 pm on a Friday afternoon.

me:
fuck dude, PERSON knows i have a blog
SHUT > IT. DOWN....

friend:
how do you figure

me:
shut it down hells kitchen style
b/c he just asked me
he's like what's your blog you talking about

friend:
that is so funny

me:
or something like that
why is my laugh always so loud
b/c it's so FREAKIN" QUIET IN HEREEE!!

squid

i ate so much squid tonight i hope i don't turn into one.

or poop one out. speaking of poop... brb.

my bold my bold!

it's on hold and on the way!! *happy dance in my chair!!*
"scary... don't do that again... so scary" whispers my boss... :( i'm weird...

wine solves everything

for example. sitting next to the rebounder that you've been avoiding for many monthes at a wedding reception. i recommend white wine. less of a headache, goes down like water. takes the tension right out of the shoulders!

dash and dine...

i did not. instead i called some guy friends to come rescue me. i am in their debt forever. well for at least $10. callin on parents would've been too embarassing, of course. you would think i would know by now to expect cash only from little taiwanese noodle houses...

dress is all you need

dear shirls,

that dress is so you.
buy it so you can play in it. you don't need a man. you have the dress.

love, lam

couldn't help but stare

at what the guy was watching, next to me on the bus this morning. he had one of those portable dvd players and i've seen this guy before, a regular on the bus. i never knew what he was watching, but this morning i happen to be next to him. i glanced over and if you paid me 10 million dollars, i couldn't even begin to tell you what the movie or heck, tv show was about.

let me describe to you what i saw:
people in medieval clothing
sorcerers/magic like things happening

the best part, close captioning was on and immediately, i could tell the dialogue was lousy. but what would you say if i quoted you a line?

"give me back my bag of magical equipment!" says old man in old frock that appears to be from medieval time.

ya... ya i thought so. it's like a car wreck. you don't want to stare, but it's so awful, you can't help but keep staring, hoping your eyes have not betrayed you.

dragonfly killer

tonight, playing tennis, i inadvertently killed a dragonfly tonight. well not inadvertently, i totally killed it, but it was an accident! i swear...

sequence of events:
-ball toss into the air
-right arm is back, left arm is up
-right arm, holding racquet, and body twists forward
-smashes ball
-ball smashes dragonfly that flew by at the exact same height as where the ball was hit in the air
-ball lands on the other side of the net, on the inside corner of the service box. an ace!
-dragonfly falls smack down onto the ground with a 'snap' sound, not to mistaken the snap of the ball hitting the racquet
-helen utterly traumatized by sequence of events

total time of sequence of events: 2 seconds

it was horrible, i couldn't continue playing on my side with the dead insect. it was too traumatizing. i had to switch sides before play could continue.

on the bright side, at least i didn't kill a bird.

ps

post script:

btw (wait... do i really need btw if i wrote ps??) i think hp probably smelled the sweet liquor radiating from my body when i hugged her under the bright, balmy sun which was a factor in my wine-oh headache later on that afternoon.
i'm telling you, this work is turning me into a lush. or a drunk.

good luck at e3! do you need me to print screen any hits, for old times sake?! cause i will... and don't let perverted, braces-wearing, pale skin geeks touch you. hugs

asian drug dealer

without a doubt.
and don't forget the last option
4. a souvenir from the richmond night market... which really i guess is quite the same as option 3.

heartfelt appreciation

dear shirls,

you have no idea how much your blog call out means to me. no joke. and the fact that you guys really miss me at the ol' office, i think, no wait not think, i know, just made my entire non-existent social life feel uplifted and less suicidal. I MISS YOU ALL SOOO MUCH. i didn't realize how weird i really was entire i started the new job and all my weird-ass quirks seemed so much more obvious and... strange as i saw the wtf looks in other people's face when they saw me. shirls, i want to come back. i want to come back to the land of where i was mothered, but pushed in a good way, by hp, and where i could be weird and accepted at the same time. i miss screaming like a banshee on the old soccer field playing football, i miss pretending i care about video games with you, i miss. you. all.
:(

roomate

what's your definition of a roomate?
ANYBODY who lives with you?
someone who lives at the same place in a separate bedroom?
how about someone who shares your bedroom and is your significant other, you know you can still refer to them as your roommate.

or how about, when asked all the subtle hints of whether or not you have a gf, aka, "so you have a roomate" "you live here with a roomate" " your roomate made that for you" all those little subtle 'do you have a gf' questions could've been answered with "no, my gf made it" "no my gf lives with me" "no i own this place with my gf" could've been used! instead of the flat out "no."

awkward - when you go up to someone's apartment, believing there is no roomate, and then having him say "anybody ... home...?" and out pops a girl... AWK.W.ARD...

what do you say?

"hi, i have to use your bathroom" and scamper off.

please post

dear shirls,

i miss ur lovely posts. please do more. i most especially like the edited video of seattle. please let me live vacariously thru your video game trip adventures via blog.

heart, hlam

inebriated

i dunno if i spelt that right. but i had 2 glasses of delicious white wine at lunch and i feel like i can fall over and take a nap. everything feels a little numb... and slightly blurry. must.nap. now...

unethical to be buzzed at work? yes i agree. do i care? not really.

an exciting saturday night

original (exciting) plans: going out clubbing

change of plans: partying cancelled, i watched the jonas brothers live on much music, and inadvertently killed a spider when trapping it in a jar to get it outside

i'm a ball of fun. no wonder i have so many friends.

i'm weird

i like to shake my hips when i'm wearing a dress b/c i like the feel of the fabric shaking around me... this often happens at work where people stare at me with a wtf look in their face

sometimes i wrap my ear buds around my head so that the buds are on the top of my head. why? i dunno... but people can see me do this at work

sometimes i like to just break out into the running man. the carpet at work has good traction for this.

i'm starting to think people at work think i'm super weird, except... i know that. i know that i am weird, i am quirky, hell it takes a while for someone to understand me weird is really just my natural, effervescence personality, but until then, how do i act 'normal' so that i can slowly transition that to my weird-normal state?

i don't think i used effervescence correctly, but it sounded like it would make sense.

we are animals

judging by the state of my work's kitchen sink, we live and eat like neanderthals.

there is a guy who comes in every morning just to clear out the washing machine and to put our disgusting dishes in. he doesn't even work for the company. i'm starting to think all he does is clean up our shit. today, i had a good look at him, trying to see the judgement and disgust in his eyes as he sorts out the dirty dishes, except i see none of that, which somehow makes it even worse and evident that we're nothing but pigs. however, i did observe that he was sporting a lovely louis vuitton messenger bag. yes, i DO notice the material things in life.

hella expensive

i just spent $20 on 13 litres of gas. i don't even know if that'll get me 100km!

i'm sitting at blenz again. it's less busy than the last time. the tiramisu kind of tastes like crap. my tea is so hot i think the steam from the sip hole gave me 1st degree burn on my top upper lip. hawt. i'm googling romance books so i can find a good one to get at the chapters that is across the street before they close.

i feel fat

point blank.

no i'm not being a silly female, but i just feel fat. you know when you're feeling a little bit heavy around certain areas? well i feel heavy and if i relax my stomach it looks like i'm pregnant. what. the. hell. is wrong with my body?!